Planning A Small and Intimate Wedding Ceremony? My Three Top Tips For A Memorable Experience...

Congratulations to David & Lisa!

"On their wonderful wedding day, West Seattle..."

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My husband, Greg and I, were married five years ago this week in a small ceremony in our backyard with two couples we love and our Officiant - oh yes, and our four dogs! A party and honeymoon cruise followed but when we look back on our ceremony, we have such wonderful memories - for us, it was perfect.

And having done this wonderful work now with many couples of different wants/needs, I offer you three of my favorite "top tips" for a marvelous and memorable "small ceremony experience."

1. 2-25 family/friends is a perfect "guest count" for a small wedding experience. Create a personalized wedding ceremony and involve each of your guests for an 'inclusive' and loving experience.

2. Enjoy a dinner or evening out immediately afterwards with your family and friends at a venue that can easily take care of all celebration details - i.e., Palisade Restaurant, The Space Needle, The Woodmark Hotel, the Herbfarm, etc. Taking your celebration to a restaurant or fancy hotel/resort takes any stress off of planning a celebration at a private residence - many less details to worry about!

3. Enjoy and take (don't put it off) a marvelous honeymoon - whether it is staying local for a few days or perhaps a cruise to Alaska (so easy from the Seattle waterfront!). We took our first cruise as our honeymoon and are taking our sixth cruise this Winter - it's become one of our favorite indulgences and brings back those "first married memories" every time.

Okay, What's With the "Traditional Guest Book?"

Congratulations to Al and Laurene Stappenbeck!

June 7, 2008, Cedarbrook Center

photo courtesy of Brian & Jennifer Hartman www.photoelan.com

Truth? I've been to many weddings.

And if I may be bold on this sunny Monday morning as I think about what works and what doesn't work at a wedding, I offer this thought: what is with the guest book?

All couples know who is attending their wedding so having guests sign their names seems to me to be a bit redundant. Not only does this often create an unwelcoming "long line" as guests arrive at your wedding, it doesn't offer a very elegant initial experience.

If you're thinking about a guest book, consider "nixing it" and going with something that may be ultimately more meaningful to you:

- a framed photo mat for personal written messages.

- a wishing tree for special notes to be opened on your first anniversary.

- a special welcoming drink with a fortune attached.

A guest book is a traditional piece to a wedding - think about what you truly want your guests to experience when they arrive at your ceremony and take it from there!

Invest with Confidence: A "Day Of" Wedding Coordinator Is Money Well Spent...

Luke and Amanda, DeLille Cellars, Woodinville, WA
"A Wonderful Early Summer Weekday Wedding"

In this marvelous work that I do, I work with a number of exceptional and highly respected Wedding Planners and Consultants. If you want to fully enjoy your day without worrying about details (small and big), consider hiring a Day Of Coordinator.

Yes, slice money from the favors and the flowers - go a bit "lighter" on the wedding cake and take the extra cash and put it toward somebody who can assist you with making your day extra wonderful.

This past weekend, I worked with Stephanie Wilson of Every Last Detail - www.eldweddings.net. Stephanie is a marvelous Wedding Planner and Consultant and like some of her peers, she works with weddings of all sizes and budgets. Take a peak at Stephanie's website for more information.

FAQ - "How Long Is A Wedding Ceremony?"

Congratulations to Randy and Megan Loctor!

Tacoma Museum of Glass 5.24.08

photo by: the marvelous Cheryl Jones www.inaframe.com

One of my frequent questions from a couple is simple and upfront: "How long is a wedding ceremony?"

Yes, the length of a ceremony is important. If it's too short, it feels "weird." And if it's too long, it can make a couple feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.

For me, length is about "how a ceremony" feels - not only to the couple but to family and friends. If a ceremony is well-written and well crafted, it will go by very quickly. You know that feeling you get when you're seeing a really good movie and you can't believe it's over? That kind of feeling.

And to answer this question: ceremony length depends on the specific couple as every situation is unique. And most often for me, a wedding ceremony ranges from 18-28 minutes in length.

Wonderful Resource For Readings, Verse & Poetry

Luke & Amanda, Delille Cellars, Woodinville WA

"leaving their wedding ceremony"

If you are looking for a tiny book full of poignant, unique and memorable readings/verse and poetry, find: "The Language of Marriage" by Gary Morris, Blue Mountain Arts.

"The arithmetic of love is unique:

two halves do not make a whole,

only two wholes make a whole."

- Jo Coudert

An Invisible Act of Courage and Resolve...

Marcus and Lana Steele, April, 2008

Bastyr Chapel, Kenmore, Washington

Fabulous Photo: www.aprilgreer.com

Tonight, I got an unexpected email from a favorite couple of mine: they are cancelling their July wedding ceremony and celebration. And my heart is with this couple as they both make their way through this week of "cancelling this" and "cancelling that."

And here is what I hold as true: nobody knows what truly goes on within a loving relationship except the two people involved. To cancel is to step up and take a courageous stand - it's a powerful choice that, while exceedingly difficult and heart-breaking, is a visible and invisible act of courage.

2008 "What In The World" Is Going On In The World Of Weddings?

Bernie & Coleen Brazeau

Friday, April 18, 2008, Port Gamble Church

Photo by Brad Camp: www.bradcampimages.com

Interested in a few wedding facts?

- The average US bride got engaged at age 26 and the average groom at 28.

- What type of wedding are you planning? Traditional still tops the list at 51% with 19% of couples going casual, 13% going formal, and only 2% of couples planning an extravagant wedding.

- How are you getting your wedding planning information? If you are like most people (84% to be exact), you depend on Internet sources for planning or go to friends and family for help (86%).

- Getting married in a church or other religious institution? Well 49% of couples are following in your footsteps.

- The average number of guests at a wedding is 166. Personally, this number surprises me as most weddings I officiate in Seattle range from 75-100 people.

- If you are getting married in the summer and are having a difficult time securing your favorite vendors, this may be the reason why. The majority of weddings takes place from June through August with August hitting a high of 233,413 weddings!

- Probably the wedding fact that most couples are curious about is how much money other couples are spending on their wedding. With costs skyrocketing by almost a thousand dollars every year, see how your budget fits in. In the United States, total spending on a wedding in 2008 is…(drum roll please!) $28,800!

Three Important Things A Wedding Officiant May Tell You That Aren't Necessarily True...

The Wonderful Tim and Karen Grimm

March 29, 2008, Monte Villa Farmhouse, Bothell, WA

photo: www.chrissollart.com

In this work that I do, I attempt to be as transparent as possible. It's not every day that a couple "shops around" for an Officiant and selecting someone to share in a very vulnerable and intimate moment is a "big deal," if I may be so blunt and bold.

So, here are three things that you may hear from an Officiant - and if you do, I beg to differ:

"Trust me/I promise, I have a back-up." Right - on some of the fullest/busiest wedding days of the wedding season, if an Officiant has a crisis and can't be at your wedding, you may have a big challenge. I have been very fortunate and have been at every wedding of mine for the past six years. And one day, if I do this work long enough, I know there is going to be a problem. On many of the less busy days, an Officiant most often will have a back-up. On those very popular Fri/Sat and Sun times during the summer, this is much less so. I have a few additional strategies that I share with my couples that work and bring comfort.

"No paperwork needed." Get an agreement with your Officiant in writing. If an Officiant doesn't offer you a signed agreement, look elsewhere. Professionalism is key here and you want peace of mind that you are fully contracted for your date/time.

"No, no microphone needed." If you are having more than 50 guests, please consider using a microphone or similar amplification system, especially if you are outdoors. Often, beyond the fourth row or so, people can't hear as well and there is nothing that is more disappointing than attending a ceremony and not fully enjoying the words/rituals/moments.

The Washington Arboretum For Your Small And Intimate Wedding Ceremony

I love the smile on your face, Erin!

FAV REVIEW: The Washington Arboretum is one of my favorite places in Seattle for a small and intimate wedding ceremony. There are several locations throughout the park that are beautifully suited for a wedding ceremony, whether you're off season or during the gorgeous summer months. Take a peak at: http://depts.washington.edu/wpa/ - the picture above was taken at one of my favorite ponds at the Arboretum on a deck over looking the water and lily pads!

ABSOLUTELY! Consider Having Your Dog(s) As Part Of Your Wedding Ceremony & Day!

I am now writing Dean and Karen's wedding ceremony for their big day at Kiana Lodge and found this wonderful photo attached to their completed ceremony homework.
Meet the "Ring Bearers!"

I absolutely love it when a couple involves their beloved dogs in a wedding ceremony. Dogs and children bring such joy to a ceremony - no matter what happens, little people and "children in fur" often bring laughter and levity to a ceremony - and help create a few more defining moments for the day!

What I Know For Sure: A Wedding Ceremony Brings Up "Stuff" - Really!

Brandon & Andrea's Wedding Ceremony, 2007

Snoqualmie Golf & Country Club

What do I know for sure? As I get older, perhaps less and less.

And having done this work now for six years, I offer you this learned wisdom after working with many couples to create and deliver a wedding ceremony - short and sweet or custom and involved.

- A wedding is a ritual of transition. "Stuff" comes up during an engagement to be attended to. Listen, have authentic and real conversations - use your engagement time to go deeper with your Sweetheart. Try not to dampen feelings or "stuff coming up" with wedding planning or by staying busy.

- Not only does "stuff" come up for you, it comes up for your "tribe," i.e., people around you. As one of my brides shared with me yesterday, "My fiancee's Mother doesn't realize it's not all about her!" Recognize "projection" for what it is and be clear with your boundaries.

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Most of all, I know a few things: how grateful I am for this work, how much I love and appreciate my husband and our family of dogs and how honored I am to work with a couple and share in their wedding day. Onward we go!

"OFF SEASON" WEDDINGS - SAVE MONEY, MORE CHOICES....CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY!

It's really interesting.

My full wedding season now officially runs from the beginning of February thru Thanksgiving.

If you are a couple and have yet to select a venue and/or date, consider an off season wedding, i.e, November - February.

Not only will you get more choices for a venue and vendors, you'll enjoy better prices.

Yes, summer weddings are most popular. And if you have flexibility, go "off season" and take your savings and enjoy an extra special honeymoon or a big ticket purchase for your new life together!

COCKER SPANIEL "HONEY BEAR" - JUST LOOK AT THIS FACE!

The Story of "Honey Bear"

Rescued from a hell hole in January.

Adopted to a loving home in February.

A big part of my life is dog rescue and rehabilitation and I've been doing this work in Seattle for more than 15 years. My husband, Greg and I, have four dogs at our home/property on Bainbridge Island - and during the past couple of years, we have taken care of special needs dogs who have spent the their last months with us.

I was part of a team that rescued "Honey Bear" in January. We found her living in filth and neglect in a shed with a heat lamp. After getting her urgent veterinary care and grooming, we discovered the sweetest little cocker girl underneath all of her filth and mats. She was fostered by a loving couple for several weeks and adopted by a lovely woman named Amy. Amy and Honey Bear are living together in Port Orchard and best of all, Honey Bear goes to work every day with Amy and the two are practically joined at the hip!

So, on this chilly March evening as I am working to find a foster home for another rescued dog - I offer you Honey Bear's picture and story for no other reason than to share the joy I feel when a dog is released from suffering and is insured of love and kindness for the rest of it's life. Woof!

Get Creative! Seating For Your Ceremony - What About A Ceremony In The Round?

How Wonderful! Cheers to Todd & Andrea Calhoun

February 16, 2008, Court In the Square, Seatttle, WA

This amazing photo is the beautiful work of Seattle Wedding Photographer Kurt Smith www.kurtsmithphotography.com

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Todd and Andrea wanted something very special for their wedding ceremony "seating" - they chose to have their family and friends stand around them in a circle of support and community. And their ceremony on February 16th was beautiful, poignant with sweet moments of tenderness and laughter.

Traditional seating for a wedding ceremony is often the choice for most couples. And on occasion, a bride and groom will consider an alternative that reflects their individual style and personality. So, as you plan your ceremony, consider alternatives for traditional seating - especially if the indoor venue or outdoor space is a backdrop for something particuarly unique and different.

The Case For Or Against A Traditional Aisle Runner For A Wedding Ceremony...

Thom & Susie Cosgrove DAR House, 2007...Living happily in their new State of Maine!"

I was at a wedding last night for a most wonderful couple and if the bride/groom had indeed put down the aisle runner as intended, I'm quite certain one or more of the wedding party would have slipped or stumbled.

You see, aisle runners can be "dangerous." Yes, truly. If you put an aisle runner on a slippery surface or grassy surface without proper taping or another method of securing the runner, people go flying.

So, if you're thinking about an aisle runner and you absolutely must have one (as you can tell, I'm not a big fan), make sure your runner is going on a safe/proper surface and is well secured.

Sending Love, Prayers and Healing Wishes To My New Best Friend in Idaho...

Larry & Amanda Brothers, Compassion Advocates Extraordinaire!

Summer, 2007, Columbia Winery, Woodinville, WA

MY NEW BEST FRIEND IN IDAHO....

And in getting to know one of my couples for their upcoming July wedding, I have made a "new best friend" in Idaho. She is the Mother of one of my brides and was just recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. In this work that I do, everything is intimate - getting to know a couple, reflecting back a love story, taking care of family and friends during the emotional journey of all that is a wedding ceremony.

And for this year, I am holding my "new best friend" in Idaho in my thoughts and prayers as she takes on personal challenges - physically, emotionally and mentally.

And here is what I know for sure: I will be giving my "new best friend" in Idaho a great big hug on the afternoon of her daughter's wedding rehearsal on July 17th - and in the meantime, I invite you - a wonderful reader of this blog - to fly under the radar with me and anonymously adopt my "new best friend" in Idaho this year - sending her your prayer and best wishes. It's amazing what flying under the radar can do!

The amazing photo above: Photographers Dean Rutz and Karen Ducey

Please contact Dean and Karen at: karenducey@comcast.net or www.threedogweddings.com

Where Oh Where Was I Last Saturday Night? Hmmm...beautiful downtown Poulsbo, Washington!

Brenda and Chris Ruddick, January 26, 2008
Poulsbo, Washington
"...just look at the joy on Brenda's face during her ceremony!"

I had the honor of officiating Chris and Brenda's wedding ceremony this past Saturday evening in Poulsbo, Washington. This was an interfaith ceremony, celebrating Brenda's Jewish heritage and Chris's more non-denominational background. Married under a Chuppah, Chris and Brenda were truly in the moment - and the joy just shined thru with laughter and humor.

- PHOTO: The wonderful photo above was taken by the marvelous Laurence Kim - you can see his work at www.laurencekim.com - Laurence is one of Seattle's most amazing wedding photographers.

Congratulations, Chris and Brenda!

BIG TIP: BE SMART AND GIVE YOURSELF A 'BUFFER DAY' WHEN PLANNING YOUR REHEARSAL...

Casey and Kimberly, The Salish Lodge

"a small and intimate ceremony with family and friends"

Here's my big tip of the day when scheduling your wedding rehearsal:

"give yourself a buffer day!"

That's right - if your wedding is on a Friday evening, rehearse on Wednesday. If your wedding is on Saturday, rehearsal on Thursday.

You'll find that by giving yourself a buffer day, you walk into your wedding day experience more rested and at peace. If you load a full wedding rehearsal and dinner the day before, you may be more tired and overwhelmed going into your big day.

Take a buffer day - enjoy time with your Sweetheat and family and friends and attend to last minute details with ease.

Post Wedding Show "Cake Coma!

THE MARVELOUS BRENT & JEN!

Waterways Cruises, Seattle, WA, 2007

I'm in a post-wedding show "cake coma!"

Truth? My real motive for cruising the aisles of the yearly January Wedding Show are the "cake samples." I'm a baker at heart and am often in the kitchen at home creating something with sugar and flour, much to the chagrin of my husband, Greg, who has quite the sweet tooth.

The yearly wedding show is my excuse for sampling the best cakes out there and my yummy winner for this year (as last year) is Sugar Rush Baking Company in West Seattle, www.sugarrushbakingcompany.com - take a peak and go visit!

Wedding Vows: They Are More Than "I Will Do This, I Promise This, I Commit To This..."

Beautiful Day. A Truly Beautiful Couple

Scott and Sarah, Alderbrook Resort, 2007

When I look back on this past year, and look at the many diverse and interesting experiences I have had as a Wedding Celebrant/Officiant, one thing is very true for me: I feel so incredibly blessed to do this work and be with a couple on their wedding day.

I loved officiating Scott and Sarah's Fall wedding at the Alderbrook Resort in Union, Washington. Not only was it a glorious day but this ceremony was made extra sweet as Scott and Sarah shared wedding vows that were written from the heart and uniquely theirs: poignant, funny, deeply touching and very honoring.

If you are getting married and elect to write your vows, ask me about different ways to do this. Each couple that comes to me is so very different and vows are a wonderful opportunity to make your wedding ceremony fully your own.