What I Know For Sure: A Wedding Ceremony Brings Up "Stuff" - Really!

Brandon & Andrea's Wedding Ceremony, 2007

Snoqualmie Golf & Country Club

What do I know for sure? As I get older, perhaps less and less.

And having done this work now for six years, I offer you this learned wisdom after working with many couples to create and deliver a wedding ceremony - short and sweet or custom and involved.

- A wedding is a ritual of transition. "Stuff" comes up during an engagement to be attended to. Listen, have authentic and real conversations - use your engagement time to go deeper with your Sweetheart. Try not to dampen feelings or "stuff coming up" with wedding planning or by staying busy.

- Not only does "stuff" come up for you, it comes up for your "tribe," i.e., people around you. As one of my brides shared with me yesterday, "My fiancee's Mother doesn't realize it's not all about her!" Recognize "projection" for what it is and be clear with your boundaries.

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Most of all, I know a few things: how grateful I am for this work, how much I love and appreciate my husband and our family of dogs and how honored I am to work with a couple and share in their wedding day. Onward we go!

"OFF SEASON" WEDDINGS - SAVE MONEY, MORE CHOICES....CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY!

It's really interesting.

My full wedding season now officially runs from the beginning of February thru Thanksgiving.

If you are a couple and have yet to select a venue and/or date, consider an off season wedding, i.e, November - February.

Not only will you get more choices for a venue and vendors, you'll enjoy better prices.

Yes, summer weddings are most popular. And if you have flexibility, go "off season" and take your savings and enjoy an extra special honeymoon or a big ticket purchase for your new life together!

COCKER SPANIEL "HONEY BEAR" - JUST LOOK AT THIS FACE!

The Story of "Honey Bear"

Rescued from a hell hole in January.

Adopted to a loving home in February.

A big part of my life is dog rescue and rehabilitation and I've been doing this work in Seattle for more than 15 years. My husband, Greg and I, have four dogs at our home/property on Bainbridge Island - and during the past couple of years, we have taken care of special needs dogs who have spent the their last months with us.

I was part of a team that rescued "Honey Bear" in January. We found her living in filth and neglect in a shed with a heat lamp. After getting her urgent veterinary care and grooming, we discovered the sweetest little cocker girl underneath all of her filth and mats. She was fostered by a loving couple for several weeks and adopted by a lovely woman named Amy. Amy and Honey Bear are living together in Port Orchard and best of all, Honey Bear goes to work every day with Amy and the two are practically joined at the hip!

So, on this chilly March evening as I am working to find a foster home for another rescued dog - I offer you Honey Bear's picture and story for no other reason than to share the joy I feel when a dog is released from suffering and is insured of love and kindness for the rest of it's life. Woof!

Get Creative! Seating For Your Ceremony - What About A Ceremony In The Round?

How Wonderful! Cheers to Todd & Andrea Calhoun

February 16, 2008, Court In the Square, Seatttle, WA

This amazing photo is the beautiful work of Seattle Wedding Photographer Kurt Smith www.kurtsmithphotography.com

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Todd and Andrea wanted something very special for their wedding ceremony "seating" - they chose to have their family and friends stand around them in a circle of support and community. And their ceremony on February 16th was beautiful, poignant with sweet moments of tenderness and laughter.

Traditional seating for a wedding ceremony is often the choice for most couples. And on occasion, a bride and groom will consider an alternative that reflects their individual style and personality. So, as you plan your ceremony, consider alternatives for traditional seating - especially if the indoor venue or outdoor space is a backdrop for something particuarly unique and different.

The Case For Or Against A Traditional Aisle Runner For A Wedding Ceremony...

Thom & Susie Cosgrove DAR House, 2007...Living happily in their new State of Maine!"

I was at a wedding last night for a most wonderful couple and if the bride/groom had indeed put down the aisle runner as intended, I'm quite certain one or more of the wedding party would have slipped or stumbled.

You see, aisle runners can be "dangerous." Yes, truly. If you put an aisle runner on a slippery surface or grassy surface without proper taping or another method of securing the runner, people go flying.

So, if you're thinking about an aisle runner and you absolutely must have one (as you can tell, I'm not a big fan), make sure your runner is going on a safe/proper surface and is well secured.

Sending Love, Prayers and Healing Wishes To My New Best Friend in Idaho...

Larry & Amanda Brothers, Compassion Advocates Extraordinaire!

Summer, 2007, Columbia Winery, Woodinville, WA

MY NEW BEST FRIEND IN IDAHO....

And in getting to know one of my couples for their upcoming July wedding, I have made a "new best friend" in Idaho. She is the Mother of one of my brides and was just recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. In this work that I do, everything is intimate - getting to know a couple, reflecting back a love story, taking care of family and friends during the emotional journey of all that is a wedding ceremony.

And for this year, I am holding my "new best friend" in Idaho in my thoughts and prayers as she takes on personal challenges - physically, emotionally and mentally.

And here is what I know for sure: I will be giving my "new best friend" in Idaho a great big hug on the afternoon of her daughter's wedding rehearsal on July 17th - and in the meantime, I invite you - a wonderful reader of this blog - to fly under the radar with me and anonymously adopt my "new best friend" in Idaho this year - sending her your prayer and best wishes. It's amazing what flying under the radar can do!

The amazing photo above: Photographers Dean Rutz and Karen Ducey

Please contact Dean and Karen at: karenducey@comcast.net or www.threedogweddings.com

Where Oh Where Was I Last Saturday Night? Hmmm...beautiful downtown Poulsbo, Washington!

Brenda and Chris Ruddick, January 26, 2008
Poulsbo, Washington
"...just look at the joy on Brenda's face during her ceremony!"

I had the honor of officiating Chris and Brenda's wedding ceremony this past Saturday evening in Poulsbo, Washington. This was an interfaith ceremony, celebrating Brenda's Jewish heritage and Chris's more non-denominational background. Married under a Chuppah, Chris and Brenda were truly in the moment - and the joy just shined thru with laughter and humor.

- PHOTO: The wonderful photo above was taken by the marvelous Laurence Kim - you can see his work at www.laurencekim.com - Laurence is one of Seattle's most amazing wedding photographers.

Congratulations, Chris and Brenda!

BIG TIP: BE SMART AND GIVE YOURSELF A 'BUFFER DAY' WHEN PLANNING YOUR REHEARSAL...

Casey and Kimberly, The Salish Lodge

"a small and intimate ceremony with family and friends"

Here's my big tip of the day when scheduling your wedding rehearsal:

"give yourself a buffer day!"

That's right - if your wedding is on a Friday evening, rehearse on Wednesday. If your wedding is on Saturday, rehearsal on Thursday.

You'll find that by giving yourself a buffer day, you walk into your wedding day experience more rested and at peace. If you load a full wedding rehearsal and dinner the day before, you may be more tired and overwhelmed going into your big day.

Take a buffer day - enjoy time with your Sweetheat and family and friends and attend to last minute details with ease.

Post Wedding Show "Cake Coma!

THE MARVELOUS BRENT & JEN!

Waterways Cruises, Seattle, WA, 2007

I'm in a post-wedding show "cake coma!"

Truth? My real motive for cruising the aisles of the yearly January Wedding Show are the "cake samples." I'm a baker at heart and am often in the kitchen at home creating something with sugar and flour, much to the chagrin of my husband, Greg, who has quite the sweet tooth.

The yearly wedding show is my excuse for sampling the best cakes out there and my yummy winner for this year (as last year) is Sugar Rush Baking Company in West Seattle, www.sugarrushbakingcompany.com - take a peak and go visit!

Wedding Vows: They Are More Than "I Will Do This, I Promise This, I Commit To This..."

Beautiful Day. A Truly Beautiful Couple

Scott and Sarah, Alderbrook Resort, 2007

When I look back on this past year, and look at the many diverse and interesting experiences I have had as a Wedding Celebrant/Officiant, one thing is very true for me: I feel so incredibly blessed to do this work and be with a couple on their wedding day.

I loved officiating Scott and Sarah's Fall wedding at the Alderbrook Resort in Union, Washington. Not only was it a glorious day but this ceremony was made extra sweet as Scott and Sarah shared wedding vows that were written from the heart and uniquely theirs: poignant, funny, deeply touching and very honoring.

If you are getting married and elect to write your vows, ask me about different ways to do this. Each couple that comes to me is so very different and vows are a wonderful opportunity to make your wedding ceremony fully your own.

Add A New Family Member! Adopt Special Needs Cocker Spaniel "Handsome Henry."

HANDSOME HENRY SEEKS FOREVER HOME!

I love this ceremony work that I do very much. AND a big part of my volunteer life evolves around rescuing, rehabilitating and re-homing neglected/abused and "death row" dogs. So, I am going to disgress from "everything wedding" for a moment. If you or someone you know loves cocker spaniels and would love to adopt a special needs boy who is spunky, adventurous, courageous and very handsome, please let me know. Handsome Henry has had quite a journey so far in his 3+ years and one of my rescue groups is searching for a most beautiful home for him.

Looking Forward To My 2008 Wedding Season...

The Wonderful Max and Kristin Palmer, 2007

Waterways Cruises, Lake Union, Seattle

During November and December, I have a number of wonderful weddings and most of my work is meeting with couples who are planning weddings for next year. I love this part of my work - I get the amazing opportunity to meet loving and committed couples devoted to creating and building a meaningful and poignant wedding ceremony and celebration. And while it's true that I want the opportunity to work with many of these couples, I do not push.

You see, I truly believe there is a synchronicity to the universe - an invisible world that is at work at all times and in all ways. For me, a wedding ceremony is one of life's greatest defining moments and transitions and I'd like to think that if I am to be with a couple on their wedding day, they'll find me - and we'll like each other and move forward together. It's as easy and as complicated as that! So, here are to the wonderful couples that I will be working with next year as I break out my calendar and start to build a roadmap for 2008.

Jeff & Lynley, DeLille Cellars, Summer, 2007

Sometimes, laughter is so very wonderful during a wedding ceremony.

Funny thing, though. From where I stand, I often feel/see that people are not accustomed to smiling big and/or laughing elegantly during a ceremony.

So, I'm a personal and lighthearted mission to change this!

When laughter or wit is done well within a ceremony, it relaxes everyone.

Even me.

November - Facilitating and Teaching My Wonderful 12-Week Class to Celebrants From All Around The Country...

Kanishka and Marisa, 2007, Stimson Green Mansion*

*Photo: The amazing, creative and sparkly April Greer -

Wedding Photographer Extraordinaire! www.aprilgreer.com

Each Fall, I teach a 12-week course to Celebrants around the County on how to craft and create a Celebrancy Practice that offers very personalized and custom ceremonies to individuals, couples and families.

This Fall, I'm having so much fun! I have a great group of 12 Celebrants from all parts - including Oregon, Wyoming, New Jersey, Illinois and more. All are in different stages of building their Celebrancy Practices and it's my pleasure and honor to work intimately with this group to forward the Celebrancy movement within the United States.

THE 'DUTRO' WEDDING DOGS!

Scott and Suzi Dutro, Summer, 2007

It's Saturday, October 20th, and this evening, I am marrying the marvelous Andrew and Jackie at a candlelight ceremony at Bastyr Chapel in Kenmore. Walking down the aisle in his role as ring bearer will be "Leonard," a beloved dog (breed: boxer) who is a wonderful part of Jackie's family. We weren't sure if Leonard was going to make it to this day as he has cancer and is living life one day - and woof - at a time. So, today is a most happy day in so many ways. Congratulations, Andrew and Jackie Paffrath!

2007 Wedding Season - It's Saturday Evening, October 6th, and I'm at the "Unofficial End" of my 9-Month Season....

Casey and Suzi Axe, 2007

St. Paul's Church, Port Gamble, WA

It's Sat. evening, October 6th, and I am "marking" this day with gratitude.

Photo: The lovely Laurel McConnell, www.mcconnellphoto.com

It's my "unofficial" end of a very full and intense 9-month wedding season. I just returned from marrying the wonderful Shawn and Nicole at The Woodmark Hotel in Kirkland and my heart is full of gratitude for many things this work year....

• The wonderful couples I am so blessed to work with and marry.
• All of the amazing vendors who help make every wedding beautiful.
• Traffic - for cooperating beautifully this year.
• My husband, Greg, for all of his love and support.
• Our four dogs and my animal rescue work which keeps me grounded.
• For new friendships developed with family and friends of my couples.

Most of all, I am deeply appreciative for each opportunity to be an intimate and small part of a couple's wedding day. Here's to a quiet Fall season of rest, contemplation, fun/travel and of course, a few more weddings!

WRITING YOUR WEDDING VOWS - There is no "right way" to do this....it's all from the heart...

John & Maggie Lahey, Summer of 2007

Beau Lodge, Bow, Washington

Photo: www.fireflyphotos.net - The wonderful Greta!

If you are writing your own wedding vows, I'll make this short and sweet.

Write from the heart.

Wedding vows are less about what you "promise" or what you "will do."

Wedding vows are all about how you will show up in your marriage. What you love, respect, admire and cherish about your Sweetheart. How your relationship supports your growth and healing. How you are blessed to be with your Sweetheart for life.

Consider this simple counsel when "writing your wedding vows." And yes, humor is very good, too!

Creating a "Spiritual Wedding Ceremony" - Often A Challenge For Couples...

Congratulations to Thom & Susie Cosgrove, 2007
DAR House, Seattle, Washington

Photo: www.claremariephotography.com - the Fabulous Clare!

When a couple comes to me, we often work to create a meaningful and poignant wedding ceremony which incorporates different religious/spiritual/secular traditions and beliefs. In this work that I do, my task is to craft and deliver a ceremony which reflects a couple's love story, relationship and gratitude to family/friends - and so much more.

Often, couples who work with me want a "spiritual wedding ceremony" and at times have trouble putting their thoughts into words. Rev. Judith Johnson does this well and I'd like to share the following that she wrote:

"When a couple chooses to be married outside the doctrinal definitions of a particular religion or spiritual path, they have the opportunity to put their signature on the wedding ceremony so that it reflects their individual and combined beliefs and values. Every word, every gesture, can be imbued with a deep significance for the couple."

Judith and I are on the the same page - "a wedding ceremony is a wonderful opportunity for self-expression and a declaration of the power of love!"

Jeff & Lynley Shaw - And The Blue Angels Wedding Fly-Over!!

The Fabulous Jeff & Lynley Shaw

August 4, 2007, DeLille Cellars, Woodinville, WA

"And The Surprise Roar & Fly-Over Of The Blue Angels!

You can't help but absolutely love Jeff and Lynley Shaw. Not only is this couple lovely in every way (and thank you for the honor of being with both of you on your wedding day!) but with Jeff and Lynley, you never know how things are going to go.

Literally!

And in the middle of Jeff and Lynley's wedding ceremony on August 4th, the Blue Angels did a low fly-over their ceremony location - in Woodinville! Yes, Woodinville! The roar and surprise was an absolute delight and such an amazing moment for all of us.

So, yes, it's true. When it comes to an actual wedding ceremony, you never know what - or who - is actually going to show up!

Photo Credit: The Fabulous Carmen Chan of Carmen Chan Photography: www.carmenchanphotography.com

KELSEY & PETER

July 21, 2007, Tarboo Bay, Washington

I was so delighted to bea part of Kelsey and Peter's wedding ceremony this summer at Tarboo Bay on the Olympic Peninsula. It was a rainy weekend and the drops didn't diminish the joy of the 200 people present to surround this wonderful couple with love, support and wonderful memories. Kelsey and Peter planted a beautiful tree at the place they were married as a wonderful and living memento of their day. Congratulations, Kelsey & Peter!